What Do You Do When Your Safe Place Isn't Safe?

Stephanie Kallstrom was born in Peru (Afro-Peruvian) and lives in British Columbia where she competes in the hunter/jumper ring. Steph is speaking out with a powerful message about racism both inside and outside of the equestrian space. Follow her @stephkall to learn more. 

I have been riding since I was 8 years old and have owned several horses during that time. I currently own two Oldenburgs - both bays, both geldings, both with white on their faces and with some/all white legs. Both are hack winners and winners in the hunter ring. It's funny because I'm actually a mare person - I like horses who make you work for their love - but both my boys are my horses of a lifetime and by far the two best horses I've ever had. I ride in Langley, BC at Thunderbird Show Stables with Laura and Brent Balisky and Laura-Jane Tidball. This has been my barn family for the last 10 years.

Horses and riding have always been such an escape for me and a place of well-being, mental reprieve, social connection and a safe place. Horses were such a big part of allowing me to survive childhood trauma that I'm still working through today. But what do you do when your safe place isn't safe? And contributes to radicalized trauma? This is unfortunately the experience in the equestrian world, due to such a lack of diversity. I have usually been - if not always been - the only black rider at the barn, at the horse show or at a clinic. Outside of what I call my safety net of my barn family, I get a sense of overwhelming anxiety about when I will be subjected to the next racially insensitive or racist comment.

The reason the barn and my barn family is safe is because in 10 years I have never ever experienced racism at the barn. It is just not something that would ever be tolerated and that makes me feel safe. I also find my barn family extremely protective of each other and they would never allow racism to happen without calling it out. However, at horse show when you have no idea who is there and what kind of people they are, you never know. It always looms in the back of mind, whether or not the judge will see past the color of my skin, or when I have to smile and nod at a radicalized question or comment.

I was genuinely hurt that very few equestrian organizations, show facilities and equestrian businesses spoke up about racism. I can count the number of them on my hands. When questioned some said, 'I don’t want to get political' and others condemned riots and spewed other uneducated opinions. What this told me is that in the equestrian world, black lives don’t matter, diversity in the sport doesn’t matter, profits over people matters and what doesn’t directly affect them doesn’t matter. It was a sad realization that I always suspected.

How can this change? The industry needs to be more inclusive. We need to see black riders in equestrian attire ads, we need to see black riders on prize book covers, and we need to normalize the fact that there are black equestrians. We cannot be seen as an anomaly or a spectacle. There need to be anti-racism policies and people need to call out racism loudly. There need to be consequences for racist remarks, jokes, comments or actions and black people need to be involved in this conversation. This sport, which is such a privilege to be part of and so healing, needs to be a safe place for black people, not a place where you could be exposed to racial trauma.

Looking to learn more? Want to know how you can help and support the black community? Stephanie has compiled a number of educational resources on her page. Follow her on Instagram @stephkall.